“My dad likes to take my mom on surprise romantic breaks to mystery locations. My mom complains that she doesn’t like not knowing where they are going. I can’t even imagine how many people would love to have that ‘problem’…”

“My ex-husband used to complain that my omelettes were 'too fluffy.'”

“I heard a coworker the other day complain about how her husband didn’t rub her feet when she was pregnant with her daughter… 6 years ago. I think it wasn’t so much the complaint that was weird but the fact that she still sounded pretty bitter about it after all this time.”

“Funny how my wife complains about how much garlic I use but never complains about the taste of the food. She loves my cooking! And I love to cook!”

“My wife complains that I use too much toilet paper and that I should only use 3 sheets.”

“My husband complains that he has no room in our king-sized bed and sleeps poorly because of it. I told him our bed is huge and that this shouldn’t be the case. He took this photo at 5 AM and sent it to me for proof. That’s me on 'his' side of the bed (picture above).”

“I had a friend tell me she had considered divorce because her husband kept saying good morning to her before she’d had coffee. I laughed thinking she was joking, and she looked at me stone-faced and said they had to go to marriage counseling over it, and finally her husband realized this was a serious issue.”

“Every time my wife complains about stray beard hairs in the bathroom sink I show her the picture above.”

“My boyfriend complains about the cat a lot, and then I catch him doing this.”

“My parents divorced 13 years ago and divided their possessions, each parent got their own new home. My dad later moved from his suburban house to a small apartment in the city, and sold his house to my best friend from high school. Since my dad was downsizing his life, and it was my friend and her husband’s first home, he gave a lot of furniture he didn’t need to my friend. When I showed my mom a picture of my friend’s new baby, the first thing she did was comment on the rug in the background. She was shocked and pissed my dad gave it away to her. After 13 years of divorce!”

“I bought my wife really expensive leather gloves because her hands are cold when she drives in the winter. She never wears them because her ring doesn’t fit under the snug-fitting gloves. This has created quite a problem, so naturally, I returned the ring.”

“My mom complains because my dad chases her around the house without his dentures in and tries to sing badly to her and kiss her… It’s adorable, but I guess it can get old after 40 years!”

“I used to be the roommate of a married couple, the wife is a good friend. She complained that her husband asked her what she wanted to order for dinner too often. She wanted him to just decide on it himself and to know what she wants. She’s not picky or anything so it doesn’t seem like a situation where she would be unhappy if he did order for her. But I remember being surprised that she was that annoyed by it.”

“My wife complains to me that the diamond in her ring is too big and always gets caught while brushing her hair…”

“Do his feet make a fart noise on the wooden floor?! My husband’s do because they are ridiculously flat and trap air. I find it hilarious.”

“My wife complains that all her credit cards are the same color, silver.”

“My mom complains about my dad disliking certain foods. The problem here is that she loves these foods, so cooking them is a whole other issue.”

“My wife complains that my cast iron pan makes food taste really weird. Last time it was fried eggs. It tastes fine to me, but maybe my taste buds aren’t that sensitive. She always washes it with dishwashing liquid because by just cleaning it with water she thinks it’s still dirty, and since it’s always washed, it has rust on it but I don’t mind since I use it every few days.”

“It’s my own complaint (of course): I hate his sneeze. So much. It’s the worst. It’s like a sonic boom at exactly the right level of ear-splitting timbre. Asking him to sneeze quieter has only gotten me weird looks (even though he is also sensitive to sound — things rattling in cars, especially), so now I just hold my ears.”

“My wife complains that I’m too literal. So we went to see a marriage counselor and she asked, 'So what brings you here today?' I said, 'My truck.'"